In my quest to save money, I found this great blog while surfing the net and couldn’t resist sharing it with you. The site is
“Kosher on a Budget” and it is just a haven of tips and techniques for how to save money while living a Kosher lifestyle.

Mara, the writer of Kosher on a Budget, gives so much information that I’ve been spending time reading. She’s a money saving expert in my mind, being that she got out of $30,000 of debt and is especially candid with how she did it.

I’m especially intrigued by her stockpiling and couponing that she does at CVS. CVS? I always thought CVS was way too expensive but she teaches how to have so much success saving on groceries there! Check out her page on http://kosheronabudget.com/2010/11/29/why-i-recommend-shopping-at-seemingly-over-priced-drug-stores-like-cvs/

I’ve already signed up for my own CVS extra care card and am sending my husband to go get the deals for the week that Mara recommends Anyhow, enjoy reading about how to save at KosheronaBudget.com, it’s a blog I highly recommend reading!

It recently struck me how I learned very early on in life about the importance of keeping my word. My parents took it very seriously if I said I would do something and didn’t follow through.

I was reminded of the importance when I first got married and my mother-in-law made a “prerequisite” for me coming into the family. Her request? For me to read a tiny book called the The Four Agreements(I’m recommending for you to read books on a Kindle whenever possible!)

This book is small yet  invaluable in its teachings, most of which are very much in-sync with Judaism.

One of the 4 Agreements is- Integrity, meaning, keep your word. Do what you say you’re going to do. I am struck by how often I meet people who really do not keep their word.

Why is keeping your word so important? I remember when I first read the book and was struck that the word “integrity” was associated with something as simple and basic as “mean what you say, and say what you mean”.

It really does make sense to equate keeping your word with integrity. You know the people in your life you can absolutely count on when they tell you they will be at a location at a certain time. You also know the people you really can’t count on. Think about it. It really is kind of a lack of integrity on their part.

I love it that it is relatively easy to become a person of integrity- Just do what you say you’re going to do, that’s all!

In Judaism, we talk about how all a person really “owns” is their Name. What people say about us. Are we a man/woman of our word?

From the perspective of organizing, keeping your word is a very powerful tool. You’ll stop agreeing and committing to things that you really can’t commit to, spending time with people you really don’t have time to spend with, etc. Who knew that a very powerful life lesson would also be a lesson in basic time management?

Out of curiosity did I go to see Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia
movie starring Julia Roberts. I wanted to see how the movie would show the struggle, travels, and eventual lessons learnt by Liz, the main character, in her efforts to find balance and meaning in her life. If you don’t watch movies, it’s not worth the trouble to go, keep reading though because there are some interesting lessons to be learned!

(If you’re interested in reading the book, I recommend you get it on a Kindle)

I have to say the movie was a bit lengthy and perhaps confusing (because of the character’s tendency to jump from one man to the next) in exactly what the producers wanted the viewers to walk away with, and there were a few quick glimpses (in my opinion, under-emphasized) into the true take home lessons.

Let’s start with Liz’s travels to Italy.

After waking up one night realizing she did not want to be married, Liz jumps out of her marriage into the arms of a 28 year old Yoga/Actor only to discover that their relationship was difficult and full of argument and discord. She leaves everyone behind to go to Italy, to “wake up her passions” after expressing that her life felt empty and numb. There she makes a bunch of wonderful friends and learns the art of “doing nothing”. She reviles in the sheer pleasure of comforts such as food and wine and friends. There she begins to learn to leave guilt behind, seeing how much guilt can impact the wonderful feelings of being in the moment-seen from when she eats all of the delicious Italian foods, needing to purchase “big-lady” pants because of her weight gain!

Unfortunately, many Jews grew up thinking that Guilt is a real part of the Jewish religion. I don’t know if that comes from all of the Jewish jokes about Jewish mothers and the guilt they so cleverly impose on their children, but in fact, guilt is so crippling that it can actually lead to more sin. “If I’m so bad, then I might as well continue to be bad and do x,y, and z.”

Let’s differentiate Guilt from Regret. On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we Return-“shuv” hence the word Teshuva. The High Holidays are days not of Guilt but of Regret and Resolution, and then of Connection. The opportunity to come closer to G-d is unparalleled, since G-d is giving us a clean slate. We face our sins with regret and then resolve to act differently this year, understanding exactly what our sins were and coming up with an action plan for how we will not put ourselves into the same bad situations again. Can you sense the difference? Guilt lives more in the Self-Loathing realm and is an unproductive state, whereas Regret, along with its action plan of change and resolution, is more productive.

G-d wants us to experience many pleasures. After all, He could have given us food in the form of a pill, without the luxury of experiencing all of the tastes that exist! It is our job, as Jews, to enjoy His pleasures and elevate them by eating Kosher and making blessings over the food.

Next, we travel to India.

India seemed to be a bit more of a struggle for Liz because of the impression she seemed to have at first that religion and oneness with G-d would come from giving up parts of herself. She finally learned that spirituality and closeness with G-d would come from actually being herself, with all of her quirks and what she saw to be personality flaws. When she realized this, her stay in India seemed to go a bit better for her.

The Torah shows us that G-d could have created Angels instead of people and yet, He decided to create people. People with free will, choices, and all of the personality “flaws” and “quirks” that come along with them. He wanted to give us the opportunity to grow and choose and make life choices that would promote our own sense of well-being as well as the well-being of those around us.

Bali comes last.

It is perhaps in Bali that the largest lessons are learned. After meeting with her spiritual healer, Liz is encouraged to combine both the pleasure she experienced in Italy along with the serious meditation she learned to perform in India. She still struggled in Bali with the concept of “balance”, this concept of “balance” being the driving force that propelled her to initially leave her marriage. The threads of the “Big B” in balance started to unravel as she performed acts of kindness for the people of Bali that she met that needed assistance from her. The climax of the movie was when Liz stubbornly refused to travel on a short boat ride with the man she fell in love with because it seemed as if his demands were overtaking hers, and once again the big “B” in balance was threatened and shaken to the core.

Liz ran off again, about to fly back to America, when she met with her medicine man who said what I thought to be the most meaningful part of this movie. He said something like, “Oh Liz, don’t you understand that it is okay to be out of balance for love?” The music changed, she ran back to her man, and all was good.

As a Jewish wife and mother watching Eat, Pray, Love
and observing this character’s fear of commitment and fear of losing herself, I realized that the constant effort to keep life in and out of balance is very much a Torah concept. As a wife and mother, to this character Liz, my everyday acts would be considered completely out of balance, as most of what I do revolves around my husband and my children. That however, does not mean I’ve lost myself.

The Torah teaches us that “To Love” means “To Give”. We all, including the main character from Eat, Pray, Love have experienced the amazing feeling that comes from giving to another. That is Love. And sometimes, giving means we step out of balance for another person. Hello all of you Mothers out there!

Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting you lose yourself in order to be the support system your family needs. You must set standards so boundaries and limits still exist of course! If you keep giving and giving and never taking anything for yourself, you will only “burn-out”. A Healthy wife and mother would be someone that makes sure she has “me-time” and it stands to benefit her husband and children to understand this and respect it.

The daily responsibilities and mundane tasks we perform for our family and our spouse? That is love. And if that seems “out of balance”, perhaps it is misunderstood, as it was by Liz in Eat, Pray, Love.

I recently went on a comfort shop. Yeah, yeah I know. Not a great idea. “But it was on sale at Nordstroms!” At the time, the guilty purchase made me feel wonderful. I was having a boring day, wasn’t on top of my game, and I remembered that my friend had told me about the sale, so I went.

I realized later that week, that perhaps the guilty purchase would have felt better had it been planned out and budgeted for. Had I been more thoughtful, conscious, and organized for this unexpected purchase, the bag would have been more of a reward for my planning efforts.

Planning our finances and our money situation can sometimes feel yucky and daunting. I do know however, that the gratification from being planned out around money, even if it involves a “rough” budget, is a very empowering feeling. Even if all you do is make a category for variable expenses- say $100 per month extra for miscellaneous purchases and keep to it, you’ll feel great.

That’s why I like writing about my “mistakes” on Jewish Life Organized. So you can live and learn from them

Hi, I’m Rivka Slatkin and I’m an Avoider. Sounds like I’m at some sort of addiction meeting, doesn’t it? What’s an avoider? Believe it or not, there is a real mental health diagnosis as Avoidance Personality Disorder.

I don’t know if I can claim an official title to the Diagnosis, but as my long time Jewish-life-organized.com readers know, I believe that unless we live life with “eyes wide open”, we are living a somewhat “limited” life and cannot fully use all of the tremendous talents and gifts we have as capable Jewish women.

How do you know if you are an avoider? If there are things you “avoid” knowing about- in other words, if you find yourself thinking or saying, “I don’t want to know about that” or “Let’s not talk about that”, you are avoiding something and thereby holding yourself back from experiencing the pleasure of accomplishment and the satisfaction of living fully in the present.

There are a few examples that come to mind specifically from my life. Money was (and still can be at times!)  one of those sticky topics that seem to have triggered much avoidance for me. I would spend money but not really want to know how much I spent or if I was spending according to our budget, I just had a “rough” idea of what was coming in and out.

When I finally realized that I had to take a look at my money situation and not avoid it anymore, even though it was painful to get started, I’m proud to say that I can now look at money with my eyes wide open. It was hard and the honest truth was that it wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it would be.

What are your stuck points? What are you avoiding?

This is a very timely topic for beginning the Jewish New Year as Rosh Hashanah is approaching. The Hebrew word for Year, Shanah, is related to the Hebrew word for change, “Shinui”. Meaning, that Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of Change.  The opportune time for change is leading up to and on Rosh Hashanah.

Rosh Hashanah is the anniversary of the creation of human beings and it is interesting to note that what makes man unique, different than an animal, is our ability to choose. Animals, conversely, are creatures of habit.

We have the ability to make distinctions and to become conscious and aware of what we are doing. Instead of doing same old thing and following habit, Rosh Hashanah is time to take stock of who you are and what you’ve been doing until now and deciding to act consciously. Make a kabbalah or a commitment to be different this year.  Live your life with the lights on and be fully present with yourself and your family, even with those topics that just seem too scary to face. Like getting organized perhaps? Or dealing with relationships? You can do it, and there is always plenty of guidance when you begin looking.

Time and Money

Basic Primer to All Things Money	Ways to Make More Money (Specifically for the Eishes Chayil and can apply to men also)	Thrifty ways to save money for your Jewish Family